100 Pre-butt Kicking One Liners.
(From Adventure Quarterly #7)
1.
“There's only two ways this can end, and in both
of 'em, you die!"
2.
“We haven't been introduced, so I’ll call you
"Prey".”
3.
"I don’t think we’ve been properly
introduced; I'm [insert your name], and you're dead,"
4.
“Tag. You're dead."
5.
“It is time you learned; you’re not in my
league.”
6.
"Welcome to the end of your life. And I
promise, it's going to hurt."
7.
"You have much to learn, come let me teach
you.”
8.
"You shall learn what true pain is..."
9.
“OK, who ordered a painful death?”
10.
“I hope your cleric knows raise dead.” (or
regenerate)
11.
"I respect that you're cutting to the
chase; but I am just going to cut you!"
12. "Don’t screw with the [Insert name of your
organization or group]!”
13.
“You couldn’t kill my boredom!”
14.
"I've heard it said that we only gain
wisdom through suffering... and tonight, I intend to make you very wise."
15.
“I've got to kill you now; please don't hold it
against me.”
16.
“When you fight me, please do your best, you
might live a little longer.”
17.
“[Insert
the name of your group], SLAY!”
18.
"It seems I've been underestimated."
19.
"Pick a god and pray!"
20.
“I would promise you a quick death, but I don’t
want to lie.”
21.
“The fight my fellows fought; Here, now, will
end with me!”
22.
"The only one who can save you is
Orcus...and since I can't bring him here, I'm going to send you, TO HIM!"
23.
“The only one who could possibly defeat me is
[Insert name] …and you aren’t [Insert Same Name].”
24.
"You. Me. To the End.”
25.
“Is it time to commence hostilities with extreme
prejudice?”
26.
"Defend yourself if you can; you will never
have a greater need for it."
27.
“Excellent, I had hoped for a chance to smite in
our god’s holy name.”
28.
“How many men are you prepared to lose.”
29.
"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the
other half agrees!"
30.
“You done
well; yet made the singular mistake of TICKING ME OFF!”
31.
“Not on my watch!”
32.
“Ah, talking dead folk.”
33.
“The only word you're gonna need is
"ouch."”
34.
“The last thing I want to do today is hurt
you…but I have reached the bottom of today’s list.”
35.
“One of us is going to die, and our cleric can
raise the dead…do you feel lucky?”
36.
"I'll send you to the deepest pit of the
Abyss, so you can lick Orcus’ sweaty [insert anatomical part]!”
37.
"Welcome to the land of dying!"
38.
“Is it pathetic evil minion killing time
already?” [or pathetic wana-be- hero]
39.
"If any of you pretend to piety, pray to
your gods now."
40.
“When the lord of the underworld asks who sent
you tell him [insert your name]”
41.
“I hate to waste my energy on someone
so…pathetic.”
42.
“If you try me, your existence ends.”
43.
“Good upstanding folk would never hurt you,
unfortunately for you, were neither good nor upstanding.”
44.
"Sigh, and I was so hoping to avoid kicking
some arse today."
45.
“I don’t want to hurt you; I want to execute
you.”
46.
“I’m an
inquisitor and it’s time for you to face judgement!”
47.
“Those who want to be burned alive should stay…
the rest should run quickly.”
48.
“If we fight, they shall name me [insert foe’s
creature type] slayer.”
49.
“My most humble apologies, I cannot let you hurt
anyone, anymore, so you must die, please forgive me, I bear your honorable self
no ill will.”
50.
"Misfortune follows those who hinder me; I
would refer you to several folk as examples, alas they are all quite dead.”
51.
“Excuse me. I hate to be a bother but… *BAM*”
52.
“I am
going to show you what it means to kill something.”
53.
“Soon you shall sleep under the flowers.” (under
the stones)
54.
“Have you had your butt kicked by a [insert the
description of the most bizarre member of your group]?”
55.
“That's D-A-I-N-E, I want you to be able to
spell the name of the one who kicked your arse.”
56.
“Flee or die, there is no third option.”
57.
“If you stop now I will only rip out one of your
lungs; if not, then hold your breath.”
58.
“Ah, it is the time of death dealing.”
59.
“Is it true that [insert monster type] meat
tastes like chicken? Time to find out!”
60.
"I've fought tougher housecats!"
61.
"Your pained scream will mark your
gravestone. How many 'A's should I use?"
62.
"Go ahead and run, you'll just die
tired."
63.
"I'm going to hit you so hard your mother
feels it."
64.
"Let me fix your steel deficiency."
(Or fire, or lightning, or iron, etc)
65.
"I'm going to hit you until candy comes
out."
66.
"You couldn't kill time if you tried."
67.
"Ah, I note you speak [language]. But do
you speak... KATANA?!" (or Greatsword, Fireball, etc.)
68.
"There is pain, and there is what I have
for you. When I am done, you will beg for pain."
69.
"You should've brought more guys."
70.
"My blade is hungry. You have the look of a
meal."
71.
"Run if you like. My arrows are
faster." (or spells)
72.
"Fret not. The end is nigh."
73.
"Take a good look, before your life starts
flashing before your eyes."
74.
"These walls could use some color - a fresh
coat of your blood will do."
75.
"Most days I aim to be a peaceful man. This
is not most days."
76.
"Right now the only thing I crave more than
your death is a sandwich."
77.
"I suggest you fall to your knees now,
while you still have knees on which to fall."
78.
"I will give you a beating such as to make
the gods question their priorities."
79.
"You are already beaten; don’t force your
body to catch up to that truth."
80.
"Death awaits, so tarry not."
81.
"If it makes you feel any better, boy, this
HAS been fun; I'm gonna miss you."
82.
"There is a realm of the Hells, it is said,
filled with all those slain by this blade; Give the inhabitants my regards,
will you?"
83.
"Yea, I have faced adversaries worthier than
you ... but too few; I shall seek to remember this face."
84.
"The graveyards are full of opponents far
your better. But come: try your hand, child. The wheel turns, the cards
flutter. Fame or death await you."
85.
"In my lands, there are words for bravery; there
are also words for foolishness. But there are no words for the grave error of
opposing my technique."
86.
"Speak to me now, in your final moments, of
what you would have done with the years given you ... had we not met this
day."
87.
(looking at a group) "I shall leave one
survivor to tell the tale. He of you with the most cunning tongue and fairest
face, depart now."
88.
"I do not want to kill you. But I did not
want to kill your friends, either, and look how that turned out."
89.
"Kneel, take heed of my words, and praise
[deity's name] so I might bury you a believer."
90.
"A most-singular specimen, to be sure; as a
professional collector, I must inquire—what part of your species is found most
quarrelsome in terms of taxidermy and display?"
91.
"If anyone asks, I did this for reasons
other than pure spite."
92.
(Giving
order to allies) “Don’t leave a bone unbroken.”
93.
"So you want to fight?” "Fight? No, I
want to kill you,"
94.
“Who are
you?” “Your Doom.”
95.
“Who are you?” “Giving my name to one about to
die is pointless.”
96.
“What do you want?” “Your skull adorning my
trophy case.”
97.
“What are you doing?” “Preparing to beat you
bloody, you really should brace yourself.”
98.
“You took [insert name of ally who died]’s
life…Give me yours!”
99.
“[For fire wielder’s] “I've got a burning question for you.”
100. (on
a fumble/after a disarm) "Ha! I don't need THAT weapon to defeat you,
fool!"
