Friday, February 19, 2016

100 Pre-butt Kicking One Liners.

100 Pre-butt Kicking One Liners. 

(From Adventure Quarterly #7)

1.      “There's only two ways this can end, and in both of 'em, you die!"
2.      “We haven't been introduced, so I’ll call you "Prey".”
3.      "I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced; I'm [insert your name], and you're dead,"
4.      “Tag. You're dead."
5.      “It is time you learned; you’re not in my league.”
6.      "Welcome to the end of your life. And I promise, it's going to hurt."
7.      "You have much to learn, come let me teach you.”
8.      "You shall learn what true pain is..."
9.      “OK, who ordered a painful death?”
10.   “I hope your cleric knows raise dead.” (or regenerate)
11.   "I respect that you're cutting to the chase; but I am just going to cut you!"
12.   "Don’t screw with the [Insert name of your organization or group]!”
13.   “You couldn’t kill my boredom!”
14.   "I've heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering... and tonight, I intend to make you very wise."
15.   “I've got to kill you now; please don't hold it against me.”
16.   “When you fight me, please do your best, you might live a little longer.”
17.    “[Insert the name of your group], SLAY!”
18.   "It seems I've been underestimated."
19.   "Pick a god and pray!"
20.   “I would promise you a quick death, but I don’t want to lie.”
21.   “The fight my fellows fought; Here, now, will end with me!”
22.   "The only one who can save you is Orcus...and since I can't bring him here, I'm going to send you, TO HIM!"
23.   “The only one who could possibly defeat me is [Insert name] …and you aren’t [Insert Same Name].”
24.   "You. Me. To the End.”
25.   “Is it time to commence hostilities with extreme prejudice?”
26.   "Defend yourself if you can; you will never have a greater need for it."
27.   “Excellent, I had hoped for a chance to smite in our god’s holy name.”
28.   “How many men are you prepared to lose.”
29.   "I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees!"
30.    “You done well; yet made the singular mistake of TICKING ME OFF!”
31.   “Not on my watch!”
32.   “Ah, talking dead folk.”
33.   “The only word you're gonna need is "ouch."”
34.   “The last thing I want to do today is hurt you…but I have reached the bottom of today’s list.”
35.   “One of us is going to die, and our cleric can raise the dead…do you feel lucky?”
36.   "I'll send you to the deepest pit of the Abyss, so you can lick Orcus’ sweaty [insert anatomical part]!”
37.   "Welcome to the land of dying!"
38.   “Is it pathetic evil minion killing time already?” [or pathetic wana-be- hero]
39.   "If any of you pretend to piety, pray to your gods now."
40.   “When the lord of the underworld asks who sent you tell him [insert your name]”
41.   “I hate to waste my energy on someone so…pathetic.”
42.   “If you try me, your existence ends.”
43.   “Good upstanding folk would never hurt you, unfortunately for you, were neither good nor upstanding.”
44.   "Sigh, and I was so hoping to avoid kicking some arse today."
45.   “I don’t want to hurt you; I want to execute you.”
46.    “I’m an inquisitor and it’s time for you to face judgement!”
47.   “Those who want to be burned alive should stay… the rest should run quickly.”
48.   “If we fight, they shall name me [insert foe’s creature type] slayer.”
49.   “My most humble apologies, I cannot let you hurt anyone, anymore, so you must die, please forgive me, I bear your honorable self no ill will.”
50.   "Misfortune follows those who hinder me; I would refer you to several folk as examples, alas they are all quite dead.”
51.   “Excuse me. I hate to be a bother but… *BAM*”
52.    “I am going to show you what it means to kill something.”
53.   “Soon you shall sleep under the flowers.” (under the stones)
54.   “Have you had your butt kicked by a [insert the description of the most bizarre member of your group]?”
55.   “That's D-A-I-N-E, I want you to be able to spell the name of the one who kicked your arse.”
56.   “Flee or die, there is no third option.”
57.   “If you stop now I will only rip out one of your lungs; if not, then hold your breath.”
58.   “Ah, it is the time of death dealing.”
59.   “Is it true that [insert monster type] meat tastes like chicken? Time to find out!”
60.   "I've fought tougher housecats!"
61.   "Your pained scream will mark your gravestone. How many 'A's should I use?"
62.   "Go ahead and run, you'll just die tired."
63.   "I'm going to hit you so hard your mother feels it."
64.   "Let me fix your steel deficiency." (Or fire, or lightning, or iron, etc)
65.   "I'm going to hit you until candy comes out."
66.   "You couldn't kill time if you tried."
67.   "Ah, I note you speak [language]. But do you speak... KATANA?!" (or Greatsword, Fireball, etc.)
68.   "There is pain, and there is what I have for you. When I am done, you will beg for pain."
69.   "You should've brought more guys."
70.   "My blade is hungry. You have the look of a meal."
71.   "Run if you like. My arrows are faster." (or spells)
72.   "Fret not. The end is nigh."
73.   "Take a good look, before your life starts flashing before your eyes."
74.   "These walls could use some color - a fresh coat of your blood will do."
75.   "Most days I aim to be a peaceful man. This is not most days."
76.   "Right now the only thing I crave more than your death is a sandwich."
77.   "I suggest you fall to your knees now, while you still have knees on which to fall."
78.   "I will give you a beating such as to make the gods question their priorities."
79.   "You are already beaten; don’t force your body to catch up to that truth."
80.   "Death awaits, so tarry not."
81.   "If it makes you feel any better, boy, this HAS been fun; I'm gonna miss you."
82.   "There is a realm of the Hells, it is said, filled with all those slain by this blade; Give the inhabitants my regards, will you?"
83.   "Yea, I have faced adversaries worthier than you ... but too few; I shall seek to remember this face."
84.   "The graveyards are full of opponents far your better. But come: try your hand, child. The wheel turns, the cards flutter. Fame or death await you."
85.   "In my lands, there are words for bravery; there are also words for foolishness. But there are no words for the grave error of opposing my technique."
86.   "Speak to me now, in your final moments, of what you would have done with the years given you ... had we not met this day."
87.   (looking at a group) "I shall leave one survivor to tell the tale. He of you with the most cunning tongue and fairest face, depart now."
88.   "I do not want to kill you. But I did not want to kill your friends, either, and look how that turned out."
89.   "Kneel, take heed of my words, and praise [deity's name] so I might bury you a believer."
90.   "A most-singular specimen, to be sure; as a professional collector, I must inquire—what part of your species is found most quarrelsome in terms of taxidermy and display?"
91.   "If anyone asks, I did this for reasons other than pure spite."
92.    (Giving order to allies) “Don’t leave a bone unbroken.”
93.   "So you want to fight?” "Fight? No, I want to kill you,"
94.    “Who are you?” “Your Doom.”
95.   “Who are you?” “Giving my name to one about to die is pointless.”
96.   “What do you want?” “Your skull adorning my trophy case.”
97.   “What are you doing?” “Preparing to beat you bloody, you really should brace yourself.”
98.   “You took [insert name of ally who died]’s life…Give me yours!”
99.   “[For fire wielder’s] “I've got a burning question for you.”
100.  (on a fumble/after a disarm) "Ha! I don't need THAT weapon to defeat you, fool!"

1 comment:

  1. "Welcome to the end of your life. And I promise, it's going to hurt."

    Best Vegeta line ever.